Sex, Drugs, and Lies

In the last letter, I talked about my suspicion of newly invented acronyms. Last week I heard a whole crop of brand new ones – fresh from the mint. I was asked to attend a medical conference at the Intercontinental Hotel in Miami.

The conference title was “Novel Therapies for Erectile Dysfunction”. Now that erectile dysfunction (ED) is a widely known euphemism in this country (outside the US and Canada it is still referred to as impotence) the meaning seems to be catching up to the term.

So … it was suggested that we all start referring to it as “erectile function” (EF). It seems the presenters feel “dysfunction”
has “developed a negative connotation”. I’m serious. I’m not making this up. Indeed, the program was sponsored by CIEF, which I had never heard of. CIEF stands for (If you can guess this part, you’re more clever than I am. I had to read the brochure.) Consortium for Improvement in Erectile Function.

But what were the novel therapies my invitation promised? Well … unless I dozed off … I did have a little of the Champagne … I only caught one therapy really – a new drug.

But it is a nifty new drug. They have developed an improved Viagra. It lasts longer. You will hear about it. It’s expected to get FDA approval in early 2003. An unprecedented media campaign is planned. “You won’t just see Bob Dole. We are going to have a slew of big name celebrities. They will tout it as the week end pill.” Wow, that’s slicker than frog snot.

So that’s what all this was about. The luxurious hotel, that delicious salmon (don’t tell my wife, but I also had the filet mignon) and that fancy mousse-shaped-like-a-star thing.

It turns out when I read the small print the whole shindig was paid for by Lily. Viagra was the fastest selling drug of all time. Lily figures to make a mint.

I don’t necessarily have a problem with that. Produce your product. Make your case. Sell your goods if you can. That’s the American Way. But what about the scientific conference on impotence?

We spent the whole night talking about PDE5 inhibitors (That’s also the way Viagra works.) with hardly a mention of testosterone. Testosterone is the body’s natural system for controlling and achieving an erection. If that’s not working, wouldn’t it be the first place to look?

In my book, The T-Factor, I list page after page of proof that sexual desire, sexual capacity and sexual dysfunction in men all depend on one simple thing. That simple thing is natural testosterone.

The problem is that age, the American diet and modern day pollutants are assaulting a man’s natural testosterone. There are ways to use exercise, diet and supplements to restore natural testosterone. Then, not only does sexual function improve, but there is a host of other benefits. Benefits like increased energy and strength, improved mood and memory, increased muscle and bone density, and many others.

I have treated hundreds in this way. The vast majority have been successful. But it won’t get me flown around the world, chauffeured to fancy hotels. They are inexpensive and they can’t be patented. Drug companies have no interest, and you won’t hear them mentioned in the upcoming media blitz.

One more thing about the conference – I was handed a questionnaire to use with my patients to determine if they have ED. It is a modified version of the IIEF (International Index of Erectile Function) called a SHIM (Sexual Health Inventory for Men) I had to ask several times where it came from but finally I was told it was developed by Pfizer.

I noticed two things about it.

First, even if you rated yourself “high” in every category, you would still be told you had ED. You had to rate “very high” to avoid
it.

The second thing I noticed is that the name SHIM (Sexual Health Inventory for Men) has the word inventory. That sounds too military. That isn’t really very PC now is it? We are going to have to change that word to assessment. Yeah, that’s better. Now we have Sexual Health Assessment for Men and we can just call it a SHAM.

Al Sears, MD